I Abused My Mother and Turned Her Lover

Hello everyone. I decided to tell my story on this website for two reasons: first, because I feel the need to share what I'm going through with other people in the same situation and secondly, even though the beginning of our incest relationship with my mother was not very nice, a few years later I became her lover and still receive his visits at home today.
When the feeling of incest began to emerge in me, I was 18 years old and my mother 40. She and my father were separating. In fact, he abandoned us. My mother fell into depression and with that she started taking tranquilizers such as Lexotan. Sometimes took two pills and extinguished on the same couch and it was one of those blinks that began the path which would lead me to his pooch and later to his ass.
The fact that I was taking this kind of medicine made me worried and irritated at the same time, always trying to at least get her into bed. It was in one of my many attempts to make it so I had a childish idea to take some shade from the situation. She was dressed and I realized I could pick him up without any problem as she lay on the couch; I still had the capriciousness of adjusting her to have an excellent view of what I wanted - the bouquet. I pulled one leg down until my foot was on the floor and left the other leg on the couch, so she stood with her legs wide apart. It wasn't hard to keep going from there. All I had to do was lift up all of her dress
At that age, I'd already had sex at least three times, but what I felt in that moment was unlike anything I've ever experienced with sexual intercourse; it made me stand on end. Her pubic area, besides being hairy like one of those where the combs come out from under her panties edges, was big, a fucking forehead to be clear. My anxiety was so great that I started walking around the room in circles trying to sort my ideas and today this scene seems kind of ridiculous: A woman fainting on the couch showing off all his panties and her teenage son as if he were some dumb cockroach going back and forth.
At that moment, the noble feelings I had were all gone. I'd blocked out everything: morality, shame, remorse, responsibility...everything and even this abnormality of wanting to eat my mother's bouquet was just an extra attraction for me because it made me feel good about being between her legs and really wanted to see her face-to-face. First I felt the button on top of her panties, which was delicious. The excess hair made it look like a warm little pillow and then I spent quite some time there playing with my finger pressing to mark the opening of the button. Every once in awhile I looked at her face to see if she'd been wiped off without waking up, started kissing and running my tongue over the button right above her underpants that were yellow translucent as far as I remember so well, which only helped me notice the contrast with this immensity of black hairs. I went further, grabbed one end of her panties and pulled it to the side. At that moment my breath was taken away from me; I had never seen what is now known as a "clitoris perpendicular". My fingers played with it until they couldn't hold up any longer, and I put my tongue between them. She then twisted herself around slightly and muttered something, froze and walked out for a while but saw she still fainted so I came back. My dick looked like a piece of cabbage and even thought about sticking it in her mouthpiece. The sight of those plump lips protruding over abundant hair made me numb. I forgot that she'd just woken up and stuck my tongue in her again, couldn't believe it. The girls with whom I had climbed were all shaved-up little pussies which makes me compare my mother's cunt to a giant chocolate cake of those you think about eating alone hidden from everyone at this moment lust and gluttony seemed the same thing
I pulled out my cane and started punching myself, looking at her face every time the saxophone showed up because she was holding on to her panties with one hand while hitting me in the other.
I washed her panties and pulled down the dress. She left the room with a bad feeling, something was not right and I knew it, immediately after enjoying the sight of that pussy seemed to me totally distorted, got some disgust, she and what I did. This feeling didn't take long to pass, it was time for me to be ready for another erection, but since he had already gone to my bedroom, I did not think prudent return until consciousness that I had done something wrong.
The next day she didn't even mention that something had occurred to her last night. She was as usual, with a face full of drugs and sadness. That day I punched myself thinking about her but nothing happened until more than a week later when I did it again.
I had to guess whether she was in a dress or out of one so that it would work and made my first poop when I decided to take the risk and disrespect this.
I cursed those inconvenient jeans. The way out was to give her a little shack, claiming that these medications were killing her and then she would spend the whole next day complaining of body pain from sleeping on the couch. We had argued before because I didn't like having friends home with her sprawled all over the sofa. She said my co-worker was going to go in so she could touch herself and get into bed. She was already babbling rather than talking, so I practically carried her back to the bedroom. So I decided to sink my foot in the mud that night.
I sat her down on the bed and without thinking twice, went behind and ripped off her blouse; she was still awake but unconscious. Seizing an opportunity to put my hands in her boobs, grabbed at it, said something that I didn't understand. I laid her down and walked up front, took off her shoes, unbuttoned her trousers and pulled her downstairs. She lay stretched out with only panties and a bra. Went back into the room for another moment and returned to the bedroom when she had definitely embarked upon the world of dreams.
It was the big night, and I ripped off her bra and panties and fondled her... this time taking all my clothes off as well but not penetrating it for fear of hurting her.
Several times she mentioned waking up, only unlike the first time I didn't mind and even thought it was a good situation to penetrate her.
At a certain point, I turned her upside down and opened her legs wide. There he was, the ass, that wonderful button with its tight folds. No doubt about it, I lay between her legs and took my tongue from the lips of the bottle to his arse, I'm not ashamed to say so, licked her own butt and kissed him too, again she gave some locks and closed her legs. As I could no longer hold out, I knelt in the middle of her leg and did the old punch ritual but this time I managed to stick her head on my anus while she punched me. I enjoyed it.
I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up with toilet paper, then came back into my room and wiped down her folds but couldn't wipe off the sheet.
She asked me why I had woken up naked, and I replied that when I took her to bed I removed her clothes so she could sleep comfortably but couldn't get a shirt on.
She started a conversation about having had a very restless sleep that night and finally asked if I'd mixed up with her in any way while she was asleep. At the time, I thought of hiding or denying everything but there was something telling me to face this situation; I got caught halfway through it. I wanted to know what she meant by "mixing" on her and she replied with a comment that seemed really strange for her because I took off her panties and bra just for comfort. She turned purple, green, blue and emerald like a rainbow but she didn't say another word about it from then on I knew that I could fuck her even if she was awake.
My story is very long, so I'll stop here and write the second part again soon. I know that many people may not like this beginning, but when I set out to tell what happens between me and my mother, I wanted to do it from the start, otherwise it would just be another erotic tale invented in a moment of excitement. Believe this story ends well. Those who want to correspond with me can send me an e-mail dougsun@hotmail.com