Nursing and masturbating my son for the first time

I'm new here on the site, and I'm going to start by telling you about the first time I had an incestuous relationship with my son. We didn't have penetration, it was more to relieve me and he was very confused rs Well, he'd just turned 18 but he was never the picking type, he's a bit of a nerd to tell you the truth his dad and I divorced when he was a kid and I never got married after that, I've had relationships but I never wanted to get married. I was on vacation from work and stayed most of the time at home, I do not like to go out much and I'm half bread hard to spend and he spends most of the time stuck on the computer, I've seen him watching porn a few times, even caught (unintentionally) he masturbating ... and he has a big dick rs I never felt any desire for him, even watching him jerk off and everything but there was one day that just changed. I had come out of the bathroom, still in my underwear and bra, going to my room to get my clothes, and I saw the door of his room half open. I peeked and saw that he was watching porn with his stick in his hand ready to start masturbating. I just stood there looking, I reached for my underwear and then I pulled quickly. "That I'm crazy, it's your son, you've caught him in it before"... I thought, but it's been a long time since I've had fun. I went in slowly without him noticing, he was so focused on the porn that he didn't even notice (well the door didn't slam hehe). I got close to see and on the tab it said "milf"... "Look what a loser". I thought. He looked back and got scared. "Fuck you mother... you crazy... fuck you I'm scared" he said, jumping out of his chair saving his dick with everything. "I've seen you before, did you think it wouldn't happen again? MILF? Really?" I said, looking at the monitor. He looked pale in front of me. "Sit down there". I said. "But"... He was going to answer. "Have a seat". I said. He sat down, I pulled his bermuda and he threw his stick out. "My hand is still cold, if you want to take it". I said, putting my finger on the head of his stick. "Mom... are you crazy? I don't... ma'am... I... don't... that". He stuttered and started to turn red. "We're not having sex, so there's nothing wrong with that". I said, closing my hand on his penis but keeping it still, looking at him with a "do you want it or not?" look. He just stared at me, didn't react. "OK... when you decide, let me know". I said, dropping his pin and leaving the room. I stayed in the room, just in my panties and my bra, and I looked at my left hand, which I had holding his pin, and I licked it, and I started going through my panties, and I stuck my hand in my panties, and I was smoothing out my butt. He walked out of the room and saw me like that, he walked right past me and I continued to ignore him, I took off my bra and panties, I sat on the couch with my legs open, to provoke him, he walked back to his room almost running. It wasn't long before I grabbed my panties and bra off the floor and went to my room, and I started to wonder if what I was doing was right... but I remembered that I'd been involved in incest before and this would just be one more. I got dressed and lay down, I looked at my phone and there was a message on my whatsapp, my son had just sent me. "Okay... but I want one condition, we don't talk about it at any time, not even between us". He said. "All right". I answered and went to his room. I went in and I didn't say anything, he was lying on his bed quiet, I was just in my panties and my bra again and he took off his panties and threw his stick out, which was already pretty hard. I sat on his legs, leaving the stick standing against my panties, and I stared at him. "Don't worry, Mommy has experience". I said. "Just... no penetration, right?" He said, not funny. "OK relax, it'll just be masturbation this time". I said, going back a little bit and grabbing his stick... and a little bit of a blowjob. " I kept talking. "Ta"... He said. I started to masturbate him slowly, going up and down very smoothly, with my hand freezing at that time, I imagine how much he enjoyed it. I got off him and I took off my panties, leaving only my bra, and I leaned over him, leaving the bottle close to his face waiting for a few licks, and I started masturbating him harder. "Do you like it?" I asked. "To". He answered. I kissed his penis, and then I started to slowly move my tongue up and down, and I started masturbating again. "Lamb a little". I spoke to him. I felt his tongue reaching for my bouquet very lightly. It was wonderful. I haven't felt that in a long time. "Uh-oh, how delicious", I said. I stopped masturbating and started breast-feeding for good, and we sucked each other for a while. I was horny as hell, but I wanted to keep my promise not to have penetration so he wouldn't get upset, you could see he was still nervous. I wanted to change the position a little bit, so I sat on his face so he could keep sucking me off. "Oh, what a boner... that... hum... hum"... He moaned, squeezing my breasts as he sucked me really good. I let him suck me like that until my legs got weak, and I came out and I fell on my face with everything in it, and his dick went all over me, and I suffocated. "Agh... Agh... Uh... how delicious... more... agh"... I was going crazy already. Then I got on top of him, passing the head of his dick in my pocket. "Mom"... He was going to talk. "Relax... relax I... I won't... drive you crazy... but I'll keep my promise... I just want to feel a little bit of this... that's delicious". I said, sweating and breathing hard from so much desire. I laid on his side, glued to him. "Masturbate a little, son, stick your fingers in everything", I said. He lay on his side, leaving the head of his stick against my asshole and pointed his fingers at my pocket. "Oh what a delight... go on... what a wonder... ah... ah... ah... ah... ah... how delicious... go on... that... more"... I would go on moaning madly. I made fun of his fingers on me, walked away from him and sucked his fingers. Then I kicked him back down and I started sucking again, and I wasn't going to stop until he kicked me. "Let me know when you're going to make fun of me". I said. I fell flat on my face, sticking my fingers in the bottle hard. "Agh agh agh agh agh agh agh agh... " I suckled nonstop and he was breathing hard, almost mocking, you could see he was trying to hold on. "I will mock". He spoke. I went as far as I could and let him mock inside, looked at him and opened my mouth to show that the whole fucking thing was there and then I swallowed it. "It's been a while since I've tasted it". I said, after swallowing and sucking. He's lying there, barely reacting yet. "It's our secret, I promise my love". I spoke to him. "Okay, okay, we... we needed a secret, didn't we? We didn't have one". He said, trying to relax. "Yeah, I think we'll have more". I said, winking and standing up. That's it. The next day he finally turned himself in and we had sex, but that's for another time. A kiss for everyone