Sexual confessions to a friend.

Sexual confessions to a friend.
In recent years, I have not been able to maintain the line of minimal insensitivity to maintain relationships outside the stable union I maintain.
Sometimes I think this happened because of one of my contacts that I ended up feeling something unexplained without ever touching it. In this period beyond work's worries, I had my naughty little girls out of the house. From all this typing with Linda, I've weakened myself by becoming emotionally involved with Paulinha who I've been in relationships with since 2005.
Bottom line: I ended up falling in love with Paulinha feeling a great affection for Linda who today is absent from the Internet I think because of me, if not absent from the internet, she is avoiding me. You also made the best decision.
However, I continued with my contacts in this MSN until one day I asked a MARISANGELA question. An excellent relationship has emerged since 05/05/2011. Detail: The question was exactly what a young woman sees in an older man. Those who follow my accounts understand why the question is asked.
I finally met her physically (I'll honor another friend and call her) Angela, this month 06/07/2011 at a June festival in her City at 170KM of Fortaleza-CE. Actually, I meant just for lunch, but...
Let's get down to business.
Below is an email to Angela, who has come to have full knowledge of part of my life and because of her sensitivity and age (20 years my big problem) to preserve certain details.
To my surprise, today 25/07/2011, Angela asked me to narrate what happened inside the room that day 16/07/2011. I'll tell and also post here for everyone who follows my accounts and send it to my contacts.
Give everyone a hug and don't do this at home. Just kidding. Kkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Text.
Saturday the 16th/07. When I left work I went to meet Paulinha who is waiting for me (in the North Shopping) as you know, the climate between us was not very good. Main motive Magéla, and I believe you too. After I started to type with you more often, everything begins to change between me and Paulinha, as far as our intimacy is concerned the change was for the better and that improves... Not to mention the meetings and phone calls that there was no more day or time like before. We went back to committing recklessness at first until I had the pleasure of meeting you personally. Since this day, the changes in attitudes were radical, this time from Paulinha and Mazé who also noticed something different in me
You also know that I feel a certain sense of inferiority when I'm in public next to Paulinha because of her beautiful age and stature. Not to mention that in public I'm easily recognized, so inside the mall I'd accompany her from the side with nothing to say to each other. We still spent about half an hour inside the mall where I was greeted by some while waiting outside a lingerie store.
When we got to your house. I simply watched her walk towards the kitchen, she tried to demonstrate a silence that did not exist and I was just expectation.
They were there, alone with me. She looks at me with a slight smile, while nervousness took me, asks:
Do you want something to drink?
My thought was to break the mood with a joke, but... she knows I don't drink alcohol so the offer could only be water or juice.
- Yeah. I'll take some water.
Her words still echoed in me, in my ears and I wondered: Anything I wanted her to do, but did he have any idea how much I wanted her? During the week I had a bad time missing her, you and I remembered every moment of the day I spent with you. Good! If she didn't know, then I'd find out for sure.
I walked as far as she was, looking like a calm that didn't exist in me at that moment, she looked at me and smiled trying to disguise the seizures and disappointments of the week. I tried to smile back, but I don't think it went very well. The nervousness and uncertainty of acceptance on her part blocked me from any reaction, no matter how good or worse. There I was given to her. I was hers. I remembered what you said to me “I like the feeling of possession” I think you all like this feeling.
They exchanged a slightly concerned and embarrassed look for what we said to each other the previous Saturday, and without knowing what to do or saying I asked him breaking that tense silence:
- It's okay. Are you calmer?
She looked at me with an expression in her eyes that showed she didn't like the question, but answered:
- Yeah. I'm fine and you're okay?
I waved once with my head and swirled on my heels with the glass in my hand and walked up to the table drinking the rest of the water, even though I thought I didn't have to take it anymore, not by ceding, but needed to feel perfectly well now. I knew she probably already realized how nervous I was, and I also knew that while I looked back on the pink walls of the room, she was trying to guess my thoughts. Maybe considering how far we've gone in our pranks.
But I really want it for myself and I admit, just to think about it I feel a delicious heat warming up, filling myself with an unexplained “T”, and, after all, she, just like me; she had promised me that she would never let anything shake our feelings for each other, there is no reason for us to dislike it to happen naturally. And as for me every promise is divided I filled myself with courage and turned to her, and charged what was due to me.
When I stood in front she was sitting at the table or countertop (I don't know what the kilo is) of the kitchen thinking seriously and glazing eyes at me. She lowered her sight, I didn't stop. I kept walking until I was close to her, she looked at me and asked me with a weak voice:
What?
I stopped by her for a moment:
Nothing! I answered.
She straightened my back as I answered, as if asking for a hug, and that, that little touch was enough for my blood to flow faster and bring me lovely contractions. I simply acted without thinking.
Taken by an impulse I leaned over and kissed her mouth, a strong kiss as hot as I felt at that moment, with my tongue and teeth played on her lips, I showed her how much I wanted her. She groaned softly when I bit and pulled her lips lightly and then I knew she was as eager and excited as I was. She got me a little uneasy, I think, by the surprise or the tension we've been through all week, and she wrapped her hands around my waist, inside the blouse she gave me. I held her face with my two hands and leaned slowly on her, and as I closed space to capture her lips with my own she closed her eyes. I felt that she, just as I gave herself to desire and did not contain the laughter of happiness that came out of my lips, there is! She's mine as much as I am already hers.
I let our lips finally meet and ramble I started to move my lips against hers, I felt her tongue shy touching the tip of mine and a little bump went all over my body, it was really good!
It was stronger and firmer than the times before and warmer. I don't know how long I kissed her, but when we finally walked away, both of us were strong, her hands were still on my waist, and I just moved my face to the side, brushing my cheek against his, and I felt that the beard by slightly scratching her, making her moan, it was so good that I felt her against my skin! It would be better if I was shaving. Your hands that were possibly clenching my hips against you.
I was intoxicated to rediscover how delicious it is to be with her. My heart beats so hard, I can feel the speed of blood in the veins of my body. While I was rubbing my face against hers, he captured my lips and we kissed again.
I felt her hands slip up to my hips and squeeze them, making Juninho pulsate harder, giving me an incredible feeling. Her kiss was so firm it made me feel wanted again.
I needed this feeling, the problems of the week and your absence due to college had made me very sensitive, afflicted, hurt, lonely and thoughtful in everything that happened and still happens today 23/07/2011. I needed to feel wanted to live again, and stop trying to understand the confusion that happened and settled in my brain to the point of taking my pride and identity. That's right! I haven't recognized myself for days now when I'm writing to you, trying to figure out why you didn't answer my phone or come to me at MSN. I'll try to hold on to my impulses and hold on so I don't bother you, press or suffocate you, I'll wait for you to call me or contact me so I can answer you. I'll act like I always did before I met you. Can I? I'll only know if you try.
Then I felt her hands on my thighs and instinctively walked away so that she dared me as you know, she continued to reach my crotch inside my pants, massaged her still over her underwear making me moan quietly against her mouth, her fingers dragged my pants down, and I felt her fingers firm and fast making instantly delirious in her... While I groaned and breathed.
Confessions to a friend – II
I didn't want to tell you, so you don't think I'm, or compare me to anyone, who's bragging about sex, and you go out and talk to others like you're showing a trophy, like you are, so you don't think my relationship with Paulinha is just vulgarity. No, ma'am! Paulinha is not vulgar. As for me, you met me personally. I'm exactly what you saw, both inside and outside the four walls. I'm the person you met physically, but... As for the events that followed in the narration to spare you from, I will tell you why you asked, if you would, let you imagine it yourself.
I wish you wouldn't be in one of those days, so you can enjoy reading better. If it is, you'll read it all the way.
After a few seconds, I got up making her walk away from me, I got her down from the table, and I knelt in front of her. I could see your condition even though you were dressed, and it made me even crazier, of course! I've seen it that way before, but at that moment it was like everything was different as if I was never so close, I think the fear of losing it caused me this. His accelerated breathing denounced his condition and kept me safe to go ahead and explore wherever or whatever I wanted. She was mine again, I was sure of it. That wasn't the place for us. I took her by the hand, taking her to her room.
For a moment she stopped walking, I thought she'd given up, but no. She had stopped to drink the little water that was left in the glass that I had left on the table. Since there was nothing there, I myself went to the fridge and took a bottle of water filling the glass to relieve its thirst. Then we move on to your room.
It had been a quick jouissance, with small tremors, but still, enough to keep my legs down, making sure she had to hold me down so I wouldn't fall while she was enjoying her mouth and body.
While thinking about how close I had to lose it, or if, perhaps, it was not better to let it happen, that it ends naturally and try to preserve love friendship.
But how do we maintain only a friendship with someone we love, know their will and share the same bed? How can we only want friendship with someone we desire and we know he wants us? How can we have the friendship of someone who knows us better than ourselves, who has confided in us and made fantasies?
We were getting close to the bed, I looked at Paulinha with a yellowish smile, shy, trying to disguise what I thought, I hugged her and, in a nasty way, I took off my panties leaving her with my skirt, I sat on the edge of the bed and then I laid wide open her long legs positioning my face right in front of her pubis, she immediately understood what I wanted helping me with the opening of her legs holding one of them with her hand and I asked her:
- Yes! Suck my pussy. Wow! Every lick was a delight and when I sucked, I felt that even his soul came along and I contracted and throbbing
Holding me by my hair with one hand, sometimes she tried to caress my face and you could see that she was holding back so she wouldn't come, it was visible that she was holding on to make the most of it. She didn't hold your fun for long. He began to come strong by pulling me by the hair, as if he wanted me to go in there, moaning, squirming all over, while I tried to hold his legs open and suck as much as possible his pussy, which exhaled with the end his smell of woman, letting part slip if his liquid to drink it.
I acted like old times. I took my fingers to the mouth to suck on your honey that was there and I came back and I sucked, licked and bit my cliché spot, kept sucking until I finished your spasms of joy. Sucked and sucked everything your pussy kicked out, she gets horny when I act this way. Soon, she recovers for one more fuck and comes with much more horny.
I got up, standing next to the bed, in front of her. I still had my pants on with Juninho stuck inside her, but out of her underwear, you could see the volume he was doing when he pulsated it made her more excited. She immediately put him out pulling my pants up to his feet, getting down from the bed and kneeling in front of him the mouthless one again.
Yeah. It tasted different, but I loved it when I was licked by the limb's head and then the body went back to my head and I was amazed to hear your whispers that delicious was listening to your little groans.
She was doing as I liked, horny for seeing me feeling pleasure with her, I know very well why she has told me this several times. She loves to know that she's satisfying me and this is mutual, this is another reason that keeps us together in this forbidden relationship, complicity in everything we do.
She'd suck her head off and try as hard as she could in her mouth with care not to hurt me with my teeth.
I remembered you. I remembered that even without experience, you massaged my testicles in the same way that Paulinha did at that moment, I remember that you made me roar and groan loudly, and even though you knew that I was close to enjoying continued with that, increasing the speed and always putting everything that I could in my mouth, coming to choke causing me even more horny so that I couldn't stand and cum without announcing again or trying to get out of you:
Oh, there's Linda. I remember how it just happened and I get excited again while I remember everything. Although I wish I didn't, I told you to take your mouth off, you said I couldn't take it anymore, that I was gonna come. Contrary to what I asked, you pulled me out of your mouth by speeding up the sucking and passing your tongue on Juninho, with half of it (I wanted it to be all, I wanted to put the rest but...) into your mouth, holding it firmly with one hand. I understood what I wanted and I loved the idea, I gave you what you wanted, I felt my first jet in your throat wrap your head and part of my limb making you choke a little bit, I fixed it better and tried to get out of you so I wouldn't hurt you, I noticed that you swallowed a little of what was in your throat and part third squirt that was also sucked by you. And I was glad to see that I didn't hurt you, and you didn't disgust me, and I loved to see my joy come out of your mouth falling through your breasts, and I loved to see you moaning quietly, and I understood that you were mocking while you were sucking and having fun with my limb still throbbing inside your mouth. Ours ended up forgetting that the purpose of me writing is to tell about what happened with Paulinha. Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
I got so excited about the memories that I forgot and talked about us. No problem. I don't take a letter from what I said.
Returning to Paulinha, the memories were so strong that I could not remember how I began to narrate what happened to us, I had to read again to remember. It was exactly the care she took not to hurt me with my teeth.
I can't think straight enough to remember the night with Paulinha. The memories with you are stronger. I'll send you this part and I'll try to report the rest tomorrow.
Really. I can't make it.
Tomorrow, who knows.
Not to mention, if I keep writing, I'm not going to type with you in MSN. 7:35, why didn't you call me?
Good night and so long.
What happened that you didn't answer my call?
Here the rest of what happened to Paulinha, I hope this email doesn't change what you think about me.
Only then, I saw that Paulinha touched frantically with her eyes closed masturbating me, sometimes biting my limb's base, what a hot feeling... It's a turn-on. I pulled back out of her mouth and immediately, I ducked down and started kissing her thighs so she could see my presence there. She opened her eyes and pulled her little fingers out of that pussy that was drooling so wet and I sank my happy face, to poke that pussy again and make her whatever she wanted. I kissed her, bit her, sucked between her little lips and licked that pussy a lot while sticking two little toes inside her around and massaged her uterus and made a good go and come. Of so much wetness for his enjoyment even without being penetrated, we heard the watery sound of my fingers in his pussy increasing even more our horny, leaving the room intoxicated by the smell of sex exhaling from our bodies.
I climbed up with my lips for my body until I reached the breasts and squeezed them, massaged those beautiful breasts with my hands inside my blouse mellowed for my joy and that she still wore, she enjoyed arphing and squirming all over herself by lying on the bed. She had a quiet face, happy exactly. Yes! She was happy! And I knew I was still within bounds and decided to dare more. How?
Well, I already know the taste and smell of it, I knew what the pleasure provided by my lips was by the junction of our bodies, mouths and hands sliding over each other, but I wanted to feel inside it.
My only question was whether: Because she hurt her during our discussion, the promise I made to never own her again, if she would want me. It seemed so, it's true, but...
I was still hesitant and afraid, but I had to try, didn't I? She was apparently given the situation, but we had nothing to discuss about the fight a week and a half ago, we hadn't made up and I was afraid she was going to use the sex to push me against a decision and charge me what I promised during our discussion. I'm not reporting here, you know all the facts, so.
When I finally looked at her, her desire eyes were a little confused and unbelieving. I didn't give him time to think, I took away what I had left in clothes that was just the blouse since the rest had stayed on the kitchen floor.
She understood what I wanted and raised her body by sitting on the bed to facilitate the exit of her blouse. Still surprised that I'm breaking the promise made, arched one of his perfect eyebrows in an interrogative way for me, I just smiled trying to keep calm, looking like control of the situation, with the decision already defined.
I helped her get her body up on the bed, putting us in the middle of the pillows, lying there waiting. As always, she came immediately with a worried and serious look sat next to me, and caressed my belly. All of a sudden she stopped, stayed in the same place seemed thoughtful static and for her not to make a decision contrary or ask me something that I didn't want to answer, held her hand pulling her over to me by calling her name and hugging her to conceal her ideas contrary to what we wanted to do, I thought she wasn't sure what she wanted, so...
- Come on! Come here for me!
I hugged her hard and got paid back. We stayed in this embrace for a few seconds, our mouths met for a new kiss, a solicitous kiss, of delivery, of regrets, of excuses, a mixture of feelings that I could not distinguish. I saw tears in her eyes, I hugged her harder, and I said to her,
Forget what happened. I'm sorry about everything.
He moved, moving his face away from mine, I held his rest tenderly trying to wipe his tears with my thumbs at the same time that I gave him some stamps, in order to break that tense climate. She asked me:
Why? What's the matter?
Without understanding the question or absolutely nothing and thinking that she didn't want me, and that she would turn herself in because I was forcing the bar, I sat with my legs out and asked:
Why what?
I wondered furiously and quietly looking at the door, undecided, whether it stayed or left. I knew if I left at that moment it would be forever.
I waited for her to turn from her thoughts and relieved myself of mine. When she came back, and I already felt like a stranger in bed, feeling that tears settled in my eyes and I was forcing it not to happen, when she hugs me by the back, supporting her chin on my shoulder, leaving her face next to mine said next to my ear:
Nothing. Nothing at all! Never mind! Like you said, let's forget what happened.
I hug under my arms pulling myself back into the center of the bed by putting myself between his legs, and he said at the same time that he asked:
I was thinking nonsense, what were you thinking?
Turn me sitting on his hip and before his eyes said:
- I don't think you should answer. You just confirmed we'd better forget about it.
She pulled my head, looked me in the eye, kissed them, and smiled,
You're crying! He kept kissing my forehead eyes and mouth followed by a strong embrace.
- Nope. I'm not crying.
And what's that in your eyes, cisco? And he smiled.
I lifted up my body and held it by your neck like I was going to choke you, saying with vehemently, laughing too.
- It's okay. I wasn't crying and there's no cisco in my eyes. You're seeing things.
She kept laughing at the situation. I fell on the side of the bed like I was angry. She turned on me and said,
Men cry too, don't they? Holding my half flabby penis concluded: Even your member felt the drama, smiled, let's drop it! I want to enjoy the rest of my time. And he lay on my body kissing me from my belly until he reached my lips holding their teeth and sucking them with his lips. Her pelvis was next to mine and she was shaking her body like she wanted to fit my limb into her vaginal lips.
She put her hand between our bodies, fit my limb in her vaginal lips. The liquid of his enjoyment poured was mixed with my pre-sembling that spread over my penis and her vagina, humidifying us and causing me an excellent feeling of pleasure. I saw in her eyes a hot feeling, she loves to rub my limb between her lips.
Juninho was already smart again and eager to penetrate it, but I didn't want to spoil that pleasure, in fact, everything that comes from her is delicious.
While she rubbed her vagina, her thorax raised me making it easy to breastfeed her big nipples and breasts. She said it was good and wanted to go like this. Smile.
- Nope. Not this time. I didn't come here to be just foreplay. I want you in one piece. I miss your little pussy, I want to feel her heat, feel her pressing me and hear you ask me to fill her with my sperm.
She looks at me and asks:
You mean you missed her? Wouldn't that be me?
- It's okay. Whose is she? She smiled and said,
You always say it's yours, I'm not sure.
- It's okay. Yes, it is. What's mine is yours, so she's yours too. I missed her so much, too.
She didn't answer anything, she had her eyes closed enjoying the friction of our sexes, she felt perfectly her big lips covering my limb making it slide gently. With my fingers I strongly pressed her nipple making her moan of pleasure at the same time she holds by the spare of the other breast gently squeezes it and offers me, as if offering to a drink to suck it. It falls on your breasts taking turns with the caresses between them. Her face was transformed, her body wriggled with pleasure, she was about to mock. I told you I'd penetrate it.
Don't! Let me enjoy it.
- What? I want you to make fun of my cock in it.
Noooo... Leave it alone!
- I do. I want to get into it!
Now don't... I'll let you stick it where you want, but let me come. Haaaa... Uffffe... How yummy. Leave it alone. I really want to enjoy it... That's a mama. Tasty mama. Aaiiiii.
She lowered her body by putting her head next to my neck by supporting her in the bed and moved her hip in a slight upward and downward movement. I couldn't stand being horny, my limb hurt so hard. I needed to penetrate it, but if I did, it would interrupt your enjoyment. I was glad to see her hips increase the rhythm of her movements and hear her whispers and groans in my ear, until she said,
I'm gonna come. ...
She held her body together with spasms and stifling her pelvis in mine, grabbed me by the neck and hair in a strong embrace, forcing me closer to her with no sense of the force she was doing almost choking me, sucked my neck, dodged me to avoid marks, snuck my ear sucking, biting, sticking my tongue inside her, making that watery and wonderful noise that we only hear when we are with those who love us. Her movements will gradually reduce and the weight of her body will increase on mine, until she settles for total, lying inertly upon me airing quickly and tiredly on my neck, I caressed her body as far as my hands reached.
A few minutes later, less gasping still lying with her head on my shoulder, with her left fist she beats several times on the chest, and asks:
Because you let him!
Surprised and misunderstood, I asked:
- Left what?
I come like this...
We smiled and I completed.
- I didn't want to remember? But you wanted it that way.
It was good, but you were supposed to put it in when I was coming.
- It's okay. Why didn't you ask?
She smiled and said,
I couldn't! There was no time. I was out of breath.
I hugged her kissing her mouth trying to get my limb inside her. She asks me to wait. She needs to go to the bathroom.
When I was alone in bed, I reminded you that maybe it was time to stop my relationship with Paulinha, that the confusion I was going through was better to forget her. At that moment I didn't think or thought I could hurt you and I sent the message to your phone saying: never forget Paulinha! I'm glad I didn't hurt you and if this happened or it's happening now that I tell her what's going on between me and her that way I'll spare you new sorrows. I'll write this down for two reasons.
First - To show her the nice person Paula is, who even knowing that I came to you and nothing complained, if it were not for the breakup of her relationship with Magéla I would not have known that she was taken by jealousy. I'm sure she thought I was looking for another relationship because I was jealous of her and Magella. And it's not all wrong, but... You know the reasons.
Second - for you to see how a woman is treated by someone who loves and considers her or at least has some respect, and who even having several obstacles to a stable union wants her, unlike what Stepan did to you.
Returning to the subject of putting an end to my relationship with Paulinha, I confess that that day I was not knowing what to do, I was angry and spoke motivated by her. I don't think your company was pleasant, which also motivated me to think so at that time.
While I was waiting outside the lingerie store, I was just thinking about coming home to tell you the following:
Paulinha knows what I want most right now, more than anything, is to say that I want you intensely in every way, I've never kept this from you. The same way I want life to become everything you want. I want your dreams to remain great, and your worries to remain small, to keep believing in your dreams and doing as you have always done, seeking to realize them, because you dream tall Linda and can fly with your dreams, except to be by my side. You can reach heaven, so it hurts me to know that I participate to destroy your dreams, your work, your life. Your dreams will only become real away from me. I don't want to know later that I was the pivot to make you sad and not believe in your dreams that can come true except for a future with me, your dreams are real. I also wish you never have to carry more than you can hold, and when you need, you can count on me to help you, and when you're out there I wish you'd meet someone who loves you in the same way that I love you and will continue to love you. I know I can never give you this love the way you deserve it. It pleases me to know that I will always have your love, while it cuts my heart to know that we can never live this love that is not forbidden. Love and desire is what binds us to the illusion which kills us together and loneliness awaits us. Today, I will ask for your understanding and that you use reason, and answer me in what I am going to tell you; I will anticipate events that I wish you to find someone who wants you as well as I do, for if I have no right to caress your hair, warm your body, cherish your heart, kiss your lips, deluding us that one day everything will be all right. You can't handle it. It hurts me to finish something as beautiful especially knowing that you like me as much as I like you, but I'm not going to destroy your dreams, your life or the possibility of a family. I'll always love you, you know that. You also know you can count on me for anything or anything. But...
When we got to your house everything changed. My nervousness did not allow me to reason, I wanted to talk at the same time that something forbade me to open my mouth. I couldn't say anything to her and just leave her alone at home. What would she look like after I did this? The climate in the kitchen was tense, not heavy. There was no mood for me to say what I wanted. I noticed that she wanted to re-establish our relationship and that she conformed to the condition of lover exactly this conformism that consumes me. That's not what I want for her. Once again, I was a coward and I didn't say anything. I need to find a way to separate myself from someone I love and desire to live this love without hurting or being hurt.
Angela, I'm sorry if I hurt you with the text on your phone, or if I hurt you with these statements. I better tell the truth so I won't create another Paulinha-like situation. If 18 years apart already prevents me from continuing a relationship, how would I accept 28?
Paula called me to the bathroom as soon as I told her: I still read: Message between, such hour.
She was soaping my body, taking time with soap, passing through my crotches. A lot of soap made a lot of foam, she took my dick and started to make masturbation moves, I felt the temperature of her hands on my cock that barked horny, she ran her thumb over my limb's head spreading the viscous liquid that kept coming out. Put it under the shower